On the 12th June 2019 our lives changed forever. A normal day at work although I remember it was pouring with rain, like the heavens had opened. Desperate I text Cait several times no answer but normal for an 17 year old. Around 1400 I just had an awful feeling come over me so I rushed home. What followed was a whirlwind of devastation. I found Cait at the tender age of 17 in her bed and had passed away, as a nurse I knew I was too late. Within what seemed like minutes of running outside and screaming I was surrounded by police and ambulances. The house was cordoned off to us and the police wouldn’t let us in for a few hours as is normal procedure in Sudden Death. 
The hardest thing I ever had to do was tell her identical twin sister and her younger sister. A friend diverted them from school but they knew as soon as they drove up and saw the chaos. Until we knew it was sudden unexpected death in epilepsy (SUDEP) Annmarie had to endure a string of cardiac tests in London to ensure it wasn’t sudden adult death (SADS). Both Annmarie now 20 and Rebecca 18 strength continues to inspire me. 
Caitlin was a dancer and studying Travel and tourism at college. She was funny and didn’t take life too seriously. Her epilepsy the tonic/clonic kind was well controlled and she’d last had a seizure about 3 years ago - the consultant was even talking about withdrawing her medication. 
It is in her memory that I am doing this as I know she is looking down and thinking ‘mum get off your fat arse and get running again’. I have to work with my grief every day but I want Cait to be proud of me, her sisters and our wonderful family. 
So Cait mum is getting her ‘sh**’ together and I will live with your spirit of let tomorrow worry about itself live for today and no regrets.